Posted: 20 January 2005 at 22:48 | IP Logged

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Geordie version of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside of Newcastle. If you have one of the Newcastle editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Newcastle edition may be recognised by looking at the loading screen. It reads Windiz 98 with a background picture of a Brown Ale bottle superimposed on a photo of the Tyne.

The Recycle Bin is labelled 'Aal ya "beep"'
Dialup Networking is called 'Me mates'
Control Panel is known as 'How te **** aboot wi the settins' -
The Hard Drive is referred to as 'Big disk'
Floppies are known as 'Them litil plastic bastads'
Other Features:
OK = it's alreet
cancel = **** that
yes = aye
no= nee ****in' chance
find = gan gerit ya ****ing sel'
goto = owa there
stop = divvent move
start = hadaway and "beep"
settings = settins
programs = stuff that dis stuff
personal folder = me "beep"
Also note that Windiz 98 does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to Windiz 98:
tiperiter = a word processor
cullarin book = a graphics package
addin masheen = calculator
tunes = CD player
porn = Microsoft Internet Explorer
pikchas = a graphics viewer
dole money = accounting software
toon = a spreadsheet of Newcastle United FC's recent scores
bevvy = local off-licences by area code and price of Brown Ale
tax records = usually an empty file
Kappa tracksuit inventory = usually a 5 meg file
We regret any inconvenience it may cause if you received a copy of the Newcastle edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

Also note Windaz Too Thoosand is now available in Newcastle:
jfbuckley.tripod.com/Main%20Pages/Geordie%20Windaz.htm jfbuckley.tripod.com/Main%20Pages/Geordie%20Windaz.ht m